Questions and Intentions


  • Increase your awareness of when, how, and why you ask leading questions
  • Increase your awareness of how these questions affect various aspects of your life

Estimated time: 5–10 minutes (at various times during your daily life)

Start keeping track of your own leading questions. You may find it helpful to have someone close to you point them out (respectfully, of course). For each question, jot down four pieces of information:

  1. The person you were talking to
  2. The wording of your question
  3. Your intention(s) in asking the question (what you were trying to achieve with this communication)
  4. The way the other person responded

As you gather more and more examples, see if you notice any patterns. For instance:

  • Do you use leading questions more at work or at home? With people close to you or with those you don’t know well?
  • Do you use these questions primarily to gather information, to express your opinion, to get decisions made quickly, to change people’s minds, or for some other reason?
  • Whatever your goals are, do your leading questions tend to help you achieve them?
  • What effect do these questions seem to have on your conversations?

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